Navigating Back to School Stress

The beginning of the school year is an exciting time for many parents. Finally, after months of summer, the kids are out of the house again! But according to a study done by Understood.org, 53% of parents with children under 18 say that going back to school is the most stressful time of year. 30% of these parents even report experiencing anxiety symptoms at the start of the school year.

Even though, often, excitement and stress go hand in hand, it’s still important to address the stress. After all, when a kid sees their parent anxious, it usually makes them anxious too. If your child is anxious about the beginning of the school year, watching you handle the transition calmly can help them regulate their own emotions. It’s also a good opportunity to teach your kids good habits and calming exercises so they can manage those emotions by themselves.

1.      Invest in a Planner

A physical planner is a great way to intentionally organize. Writing something tangibly solidifies your to-do’s in your head. But if you find you don’t like keeping a physical book, there are apps like Evernote and Trello that you can have on your phone.

Take a few minutes before each week to go day-by-day and write down your and your children’s schedules, including when and where you need to go out and what tasks need to get done at home. If you’re into color coding, have a different highlighter or pen color for different activities, like chores, online meetings, when you physically leave the house, etc.

This is a good idea for work too, but if you have a job, try keeping your work planner separate from your normal planner to not overwhelm the space.

If you’re not sure what each day will bring, plan the best you can and block out “blank time” to fill with things that come out throughout the week.

Throughout the week, when you think of something you need to do the next week, write it down in a blank document. A quick method is to have one big piece of paper or phone document to make a list of next week’s tasks. That way, when you sit down to schedule your week, you already have a list to-do list.

It is important to SCHEDULE FREE TIME. Burnout is real and it absolutely tanks your mental health, which eats up productivity in the long run. Not only does scheduling personal free time allow you to enjoy yourself guilt-free, but it refreshes you so you can tackle the not-so-fun stuff with vigor.

Teach your children how to keep a planner too, whether it’s a physical one for older kids or a whiteboard for little kids. If your kids’ teachers write lesson plans or newsletters, READ THEM, and mark them in your kids’ planners as well. Making a schedule and keeping to it teaches them discipline and planning, as well as setting expectations for what the day and week will look like. A good time management habit is an invaluable one that will help them for the rest of their lives.

2.      Meal Prep

Like with planning your week, meal prep will help speed up the daily grind of breakfast, lunch and dinner. Map out what meals you’ll cook next week, when and what groceries you need to buy this week to prepare. Pick a regular afternoon to be your meal prep time, then prepare as much as you can: chop veggies, measure seasoning, etc. Put them in containers or baggies and label them. Then, when the time comes to make the meal, you can just throw everything together to cook or bake and you’ll be done.

3.      Prepare the night before each day

Waking up early every morning to drag both yourself and your kids out of bed can be exhausting, even hectic. To help with this, anything you can do the night before, do it. Have them lay out their clothes for the next day before they go to bed, whether it’s a uniform or school-appropriate clothing. Make sure they pack their backpacks and put their homework in the right folders. Pack their lunchboxes and keep them in the fridge overnight so they're ready to go. Figure out what breakfast will be, whether it’s bacon and eggs, cereal or a protein bar to grab on the way out.

4.      Plan things to look forward to

Starting a new school year is usually very anxiety-inducing for kids. It’s a new environment, a new group of people and an elevated difficulty of study. Setting up a reward for your kid gives them something to get them through the day, whether it’s a dessert, gift or taking them to a nice place.

5.      Be mindful of how you’re pressuring your child

Your child is at school to learn and should apply themselves the best they can. But understand that grades do not mark the worth of a person. There’s a difference between healthy pressure to foster accountability and flat-out criticism. Make sure your child knows that they should prioritize studying and homework but also understand that they’re loved and not to compare themselves to other kids.

When a child’s grade slips, this can be for many reasons: bullying, anxiety or learning disabilities. And, yes, sometimes there is a laziness issue. Sometimes it’s all of these things at once. As a parent, figuring out the reason behind the slipping grades and addressing that first will fix the issue more than punishing the bad grades.

6.      Teach your child (and yourself) to manage anxiety

Anxiety is often a chronic issue not easily solved by a pep talk or toughening up. Most teenagers experience anxiety symptoms, and separation anxiety in little kids is common.

Make sure both you and your child know how to recenter yourselves when anxiety threatens to overwhelm you. Deep breathing exercises and grounding methods (like the 5-4-3-2-1 method) are easy ways to alleviate anxiety and can be done at a school desk without attracting attention.

7.      Regroup and readjust

Everyone has a different relationship with the back-to-school season, and that’s okay. The super-mom who can get everything done on her to-do list, cook three meals a day and still has time to take her kids to Disney on the weekends is a myth. No one finishes their to-do list every week. Sometimes you won’t check off one thing.

What’s important is that you give yourself grace. Learn what you can realistically do and focus on that. Observe your energy levels. Assess what has and hasn’t worked in the past. If a week doesn’t go well, try something different next week, and try and try again.

Bethany Brewer is an Orlando-based creative writer and an editorial intern at Connecting Mothers Initiative. She has a B.A. in English from the University of Central Florida and uses it to write blogs, short stories and video game scripts.